For educators and services

What economic abuse is, its three main forms, and the key test: is someone using money to control her?

Key points

• Economic abuse is the deliberate use of money as a tool of power and control, not a disagreement or a money problem.
• It takes three main forms, often intertwined: economic control, economic exploitation and economic sabotage.
• It is hard to recognise, even for the woman herself, and is often considered 'not very serious'.
• The useful question is not 'does she have money problems?' but 'is another person using money to control her?'
• It rarely happens alone, can continue or worsen after separation, and can come from any family member.

Economic violence is one of the most widespread forms of abuse and, at the same time, one of the least recognised. It covers all behaviours that limit a person's freedom to access, use and manage her own economic resources. It is not the same as a simple disagreement over money or a financial difficulty: it involves the deliberate use of money as a tool of power and control over another person. The European Institute for Gender Equality defines it as any act or behaviour that causes economic harm to a person, rooted in gender inequality and reinforced by traditional gender norms (EIGE, 2023).

Economic abuse takes three main forms, which are often intertwined:

Economic control: the abuser limits or controls her access to money and financial decisions. Examples: keeping all accounts in his own name, giving a fixed sum that must be justified item by item, demanding an account of every expense, making every financial decision without consulting her.

Economic exploitation: the abuser uses her resources for his own benefit. Examples: building up debts in her name, taking her money or property, refusing to contribute to shared expenses despite having his own resources.

Economic sabotage (in work and education): the abuser prevents her from seeking, getting or keeping a job or a course of study. Examples: forbidding her to work, sabotaging interviews or exams, harassing her at work, constantly belittling her abilities.

Projects and studies in the FIRE countries (Italy, Portugal and Germany) show that economic violence is difficult to identify, even for the women who experience it, and that even when it is recognised it is often considered 'not very serious'.

This underestimation has a clear reason. Looked at superficially, economic abuse often seems entirely normal: a partner who 'takes care of the finances', a joint account, a household budget managed by one person. From the outside, these look like ordinary household management. Economic violence also leaves no visible marks, and the woman herself may not see it as abuse, perhaps convincing herself that she is 'not good with money'.

For anyone working in social services, adult education or support for vulnerable people, the first step is to learn to tell a shared financial difficulty apart from a one-sided power dynamic. The useful test is not 'does this person have money problems?' but 'is another person using money to control her?'

Remember also that:

Economic violence rarely occurs on its own. It is almost always accompanied by other forms of domestic violence, and it can continue, or even worsen, after the relationship ends, through non-payment of maintenance, shared debts or lengthy legal battles.

Economic violence is not always perpetrated by a partner: a parent, sibling or adult child can also perpetrate it. The Istanbul Convention recognises economic violence as a form of domestic violence, covering acts 'that occur within the family or domestic unit or between former or current spouses or partners, whether or not the perpetrator shares or has shared the same residence with the victim'.

Checklist

• I can name the three main forms of economic abuse and give an example of each.
• I can explain the difference between a money difficulty and a one-sided power dynamic.
• I remember that economic abuse can continue or worsen after separation.
• I remember that a parent, sibling or adult child can also be the abuser.
• I avoid treating 'he takes care of the finances' as automatically normal or automatically abusive.

Useful FIRE tools

Signs you may notice in a course, at a guidance desk or in a programme, and how to respond without judging or labelling.

Key points

• You are not diagnosing anyone: you are staying alert to clues that, together, may tell a story.
• Signs relate to money, to work and education, and to everyday life.
• One sign alone is not enough; a pattern over time, and one-sided control, are what matter.
• Stay close, without judging, and offer a space to talk when and if she wishes.
• Migrant, refugee, disabled, older and very young women face extra layers of dependency.

People who work every day with adult women, in a training course, at a guidance desk or in a non-formal education programme, have a valuable opportunity: they can notice signs that would go unnoticed elsewhere. This is not about diagnosing or labelling anyone, but about staying alert to clues that, taken together, may tell a story of economic abuse.

Signs related to money:

She does not know, or says she does not know, how much her partner earns, and has no access to the couple's financial information.

She must ask permission, or account for every small expense with receipts.

She does not have her own bank account, or cannot access it freely.

She shows anxiety or embarrassment when money, course fees or materials to buy are discussed.

Signs related to work and education:

She has recurring difficulty attending regularly: unexplained absences, sudden withdrawals, difficulty accounting for her schedule.

She describes having been discouraged, obstructed or 'convinced' to leave a job or a course of study.

She shows a marked lack of confidence in her own abilities ('I'm not cut out for this', 'I don't understand any of it'), often learned from years of being belittled.

Signs related to everyday life:

Social isolation: few or no friendships, difficulty moving around freely, needing to account for where she is.

A partner who is always present, even remotely: frequent phone calls, demands to account for her day.

Signs of deprivation: difficulty getting basic necessities, postponed medical care, essential items not replaced although there is a family income.

Taken individually, these signs are not enough to confirm abuse: every life is complex, and generalising risks being unfair. But when several signs repeat over time, and especially when one-sided control emerges (one person deciding, the other having to account for herself), it is worth staying close, without judging, and offering a space where she can talk about it, when and if she wishes.

Pay particular attention to women in situations of additional vulnerability: migrants, refugees, women with disabilities, older women and very young women. For them, economic abuse is often intertwined with other forms of dependency (on residence status, on language, on the absence of a social network), which makes it even harder to recognise and to talk about.

Checklist

• I know the signs related to money, to work and education, and to everyday life.
• I look for patterns over time, not single signs.
• I do not label or confront a participant on the basis of what I notice.
• I make course costs, materials and schedules as easy as possible to manage.
• I keep in mind extra barriers for migrant, refugee, disabled, older and very young women.

Useful FIRE tools

How to react when a woman talks, or hints, about what she is experiencing: listen, believe, stay calm, respect her pace.

Key points

• Listen without judging, and believe her.
• Stay calm: convey 'I'm here, I'm listening', not 'this is an emergency'.
• Do not push for details; she shares only what she wishes, at her own pace.
• Tell her it is not her fault: responsibility lies only with the person who abuses.
• Explain options and resources, but the decision is always hers.
• Be clear about confidentiality and its legal limits, and look after yourself too.

The moment a woman decides to talk, even just to hint at what she is experiencing, is delicate and precious. How the listener reacts can strengthen her confidence to ask for help, or cause her to withdraw further into silence.

Listen without judging. Your task is not to investigate, evaluate or cast doubt, but to listen carefully and believe her. Phrases such as 'are you sure it's really that serious?' or 'maybe you misunderstood', even said with the best intentions, can make her feel disbelieved.

Restore calm, do not alarm. It is natural to feel concern when you hear about abuse, but keep a calm tone that says 'I'm here, I'm listening' rather than 'this is an emergency'. Very strong reactions can frighten her and make her withdraw.

Do not force the disclosure. It is fine to ask open questions and show interest, but do not insist on details. She must feel free to share only what she wishes, at her own pace.

Responsibility and clarity. One of the most helpful things you can say is that what she is going through is not her fault. Responsibility for abuse always lies solely with the person who commits it, never with the person who experiences it, even when she feels guilty for not being 'good with money' or for not leaving sooner.

Explain the options, without imposing them. This is the moment to let her know what rights she has and what resources exist (see Section 5). The decision about what to do, and when, is always hers. Respecting her timing is essential: leaving a situation of economic abuse is a process, not a single act, and often the economic and practical conditions to do so must be built first.

Guarantee confidentiality. Make clear from the start that what she shares stays confidential, except where the law sets different obligations (for example, immediate danger to children). Knowing she is in a safe space helps her open up.

Pay attention to language. Avoid expressions that minimise ('it's just an argument about money') or that indirectly blame her ('why did you never check the accounts?'). Instead, normalise her experience and let her know she is not alone: economic violence is extremely widespread, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Receiving disclosures of abuse is emotionally demanding. Sharing with colleagues where possible, and taking time to process what you have heard, is part of good care work towards the people you support.

Checklist

• I listened without questioning whether she was telling the truth.
• I kept a calm tone and did not push for details.
• I told her it was not her fault.
• I explained options and resources, and left the decision to her.
• I explained confidentiality and its legal limits.
• I took time afterwards to talk with a colleague or supervisor, without sharing identifying details.

Useful FIRE tools

The emotional weight of economic abuse, why it hurts so deeply, and how to be a steady presence without replacing specialist care.

Key points

• Economic abuse is first of all a profound emotional experience.
• Common experiences: anxiety and fear, shame and guilt, loss of self-confidence, grief and loss.
• It hurts because it strikes at independence, is invisible, builds up slowly and can last long after.
• Help her see that it was not her fault, her feelings are legitimate and healing is possible.
• Your role is a stable presence, not a therapist; refer to specialist care when needed.

Economic violence is not only a material experience: it is, first and foremost, a profound emotional one. Being controlled, monitored and deprived of the ability to decide about one's own life leaves marks that no bank statement can show. Women who have experienced economic abuse often carry anxiety, shame and deeply worn-down self-confidence, even long afterwards.

Knowing the most common experiences helps you recognise them and normalise them:

Anxiety and fear: constant worry about money and about the partner's reaction, which can keep the body on alert and is hard to switch off, even once she is safe.

Shame and guilt: an undeserved sense of guilt for 'not being good with money', for 'letting it happen', for needing help. None of this guilt is truly hers.

Loss of self-confidence: being told again and again that she is incapable wears down self-esteem, until she doubts choices she is perfectly able to make.

Grief and loss: grief for lost time, for betrayed trust, for the life imagined but not lived. Making room for this grief, rather than pushing past it, is part of healing.

Why does economic abuse hurt so deeply?

Because it strikes at independence: money is tied to freedom, to the ability to choose, to her identity as a capable adult.

Because it is often invisible to others, which adds isolation to the harm.

Because it builds up gradually, so the erosion of self-esteem accumulates silently.

Because it can continue well after the relationship ends, through unresolved debts and financial issues, which makes healing a slow process.

When you offer emotional support, you can help her become aware of truths that are often ignored or underestimated:

that it was not her fault;

that whatever she feels (anger, sorrow, relief, even numbness) is a legitimate reaction;

that asking for help is a sign of strength;

that healing is possible, with time, support and kindness towards herself.

Your role is not to 'fix' her emotional experience, nor to replace specialist psychological care when it is needed. It is to be a stable presence: someone who listens without minimising and helps her rebuild, one step at a time, confidence in herself and her abilities. Small everyday gestures, such as acknowledging progress, staying in touch and encouraging self-care, can sustain this journey over time as much as more structured support.

Checklist

• I recognise anxiety, shame, loss of confidence and grief as common reactions.
• I do not minimise her feelings or tell her how she should feel.
• I acknowledge her progress, however small.
• I know where to refer her for psychological support or peer groups.
• I stay within my role and do not try to act as her therapist.

Useful FIRE tools

The main types of support, what happens when a woman contacts a service, how to contact one safely, and your local resource map.

Key points

• You are often the bridge between a woman and the support network.
• Main types: helplines, anti-violence centres and shelters, legal and financial advice, psychological support and peer groups.
• Explaining what happens when she calls reduces the fear of the first step.
• Share simple precautions if she fears her phone or computer is monitored.
• Keep an up-to-date map of local resources you can hand over discreetly.
• Contacting a service does not mean reporting or making irreversible decisions.

No woman should have to face economic abuse alone, and in most cases she does not have to, because a network of services exists for exactly this purpose. Trainers, educators and staff often act as a bridge between her and this network: knowing what exists, what it does, and how to refer safely.

The main types of support:

Helplines: free and confidential phone lines, chat and messaging services, often available 24 hours a day and in several languages. They offer a first listening ear and refer to local services. In Italy the national number is 1522 (free, 24/7, also by chat and the 1522 app); in Germany, 116 016 (Hilfetelefon Gewalt gegen Frauen); in Portugal, 800 202 148 (Serviço de Informação às Vítimas de Violência Doméstica).

Anti-violence centres and shelters: counselling, legal and practical support and, when necessary, safe accommodation for women and children, regardless of nationality.

Legal and financial advice: legal aid for victims of violence (in Italy, for some crimes, whatever their income; in Germany and Portugal usually depending on income), advice on debt and economic rights, help in disputing debt taken out without consent.

Psychological support and peer groups: individual or group support, often free, that helps women process their experiences and rebuild confidence and social networks.

What actually happens when a woman contacts one of these services? A trained person listens without judging, explains the options and rights available to her (including ones she did not know about), puts her in touch with the most suitable local services, and keeps the conversation confidential, often anonymous too. Knowing this in advance can greatly reduce the fear of taking the first step.

If she fears that her partner monitors her phone or computer, some precautions can help her contact a service safely: choosing a moment when she cannot be overheard; using a trusted device, or choosing chat and messages if calling is not safe; browsing in private mode and clearing the history; and letting the service suggest the next steps, without rushing.

A concrete task for anyone working in the field is to build, and keep up to date, a map of local resources: the national anti-violence helpline, the nearest anti-violence centre, the employment office, a welfare or legal advice office, the municipal social services and the family counselling centre. Having these at hand, perhaps on a simple sheet that can be handed over discreetly, means you can respond promptly the moment a woman decides to ask for help, without making her wait or putting her off.

Finally, when the time is right, remind women that turning to a service does not necessarily mean 'reporting' or making irreversible decisions. She can simply start by hearing what is available, with no obligation, and then choose what to do with more knowledge.

Checklist

• I have an up-to-date local resource map, including the national helpline and the nearest anti-violence centre.
• I have a discreet printed sheet with contacts ready to hand over.
• I can explain what happens when a woman contacts a service.
• I know the precautions for contacting a service if her devices are monitored.
• I make clear that contacting a service does not mean reporting or deciding anything.

Useful FIRE tools

Questions that help assess current risk, what a practical safety plan includes, and how to support long-term economic security step by step.

Key points

• A safety plan is a practical form of self-care, for women who stay and for women who leave.
• Moving towards independence can be the moment of greatest risk.
• A plan covers contacts, documents, emergency money, a safe place and a discreet way to ask for help.
• Long-term safety means building economic security step by step.
• The path is not linear; several attempts are part of the process, not a failure.
• She decides when and how to move; you offer tools and a constant presence.

Leaving a situation of economic abuse, or even just beginning to address it, needs attention both to safety in the present and to building stability for the future. A safety plan is not a bureaucratic procedure: it is a practical form of self-care, useful both for women who stay and for women who decide to leave.

Immediate safety. Some questions can help assess the current level of risk. Does she have access, even minimal, to money of her own? Does she know who to turn to in an emergency? Does she have a safe place to go if needed? Are there signs that the situation is getting worse (threats, growing control, increased isolation)? Remember that the moment a woman begins to distance herself from an abusive relationship, even with small steps towards independence, can be the moment of greatest risk, because the abuser may sense a loss of control and react more aggressively.

A practical safety plan can include:

Knowing by heart, or keeping in a safe place, the numbers of helplines and of a trusted person who can be called at any time.

Keeping a copy of important documents somewhere only she can access.

If it is safe, setting aside a small amount of emergency money.

Identifying in advance a place she could go to quickly if necessary.

Thinking of a discreet way to ask for help, even just a word agreed with a trusted person.

Long-term safety. Beyond the emergency, building economic security is a process that develops step by step: opening, or starting to use, a bank account in her own name; knowing her rights on housing, work and credit; starting a basic financial literacy programme; and building, little by little, a network of trusted people (friends, family, colleagues) who reduce isolation.

Help her see this path as a series of steps, not a leap: recognising that something is wrong; making a first safe contact; building a concrete plan with a service; then acting at her own pace, with ongoing support. The path is not linear, and it often takes several attempts before it leads to lasting change. This is not a failure, but part of the process.

If you accompany these journeys, your role is to keep hope alive without ever forcing the pace. She is always the only one who can decide when and how to move. Your task is to offer the tools and the constant presence she needs to do so safely, when she is ready.

Checklist

• I can ask the four questions on immediate risk calmly and without pressure.
• I know that steps towards independence can increase risk.
• I can go through the five elements of a practical safety plan.
• I support long-term steps: own bank account, knowing her rights, financial literacy, a trusted network.
• I treat setbacks as part of the process, not as failure.
• I refer to specialist services for risk assessment when there are signs of danger.

Useful FIRE tools

A two-day learning, teaching and training activity (LTTA) in Italy for eight adult educators from the partner organisations (four from Informamentis Europa, two from EDUMANSHA, two from Never Give Up Förderverein). It prepares them to deliver the FIRE training modules and Training Pills to women in vulnerable situations, to apply the FIRE guidelines in their work, and to pass on what they learn to other adult educators. Day 1 focuses on understanding economic abuse and building the skills to address it; Day 2 on supporting women through adult education and financial literacy.

• Recognise economic abuse, the tactics abusers use and the signs that may appear in participants.
• Teach financial literacy, budgeting and money management in practical, accessible ways.
• Explain the main legal protections that support women's financial independence.
• Use stress-management and emotional-resilience techniques with groups of women.
• Deliver a Training Pill confidently and give and receive constructive peer feedback.
• Apply a sensitive, trauma-informed approach, create safe spaces and respond well to disclosures.
• Plan the pilot sessions in Italy, Germany and Portugal.

Day 1: Understanding economic abuse and building the skills to address it

Day 2: Supporting women through adult education and financial literacy

In each partner country, educators who took part in the LTTA run a pilot with about ten women: four sessions of 120 minutes (8 hours), blended, with optional self-study between sessions on the FIRE website. The pilot uses the training modules, Training Pills and interactive tools, and collects pre and post questionnaires and feedback from women and trainers to improve the materials. Priority goes to women with limited financial independence who are vulnerable to economic abuse. Sessions can be held in person, online or blended; adapt the mode to the group and keep the content and timing.

1. Recognising economic abuse 120 min · in person

• 20 min · Welcome and ground rules
• 15 min · Consent and starting questionnaire
• 25 min · What is economic abuse?
• 10 min · Break
• 25 min · Tactics and signs
• 15 min · Pill 1: Take charge of your money
• 10 min · Close and where to get help

2. Budgeting and building financial independence 120 min · blended

• 10 min · Check-in
• 20 min · Money foundations
• 30 min · Building a budget
• 10 min · Break
• 25 min · Savings, safety net and debt
• 15 min · Skills to income
• 10 min · Close

3. Your rights, safe money and support 120 min · in person

• 10 min · Check-in
• 25 min · Your rights under the law
• 25 min · Pill 5: Safe financial practices
• 10 min · Break
• 25 min · Support services and seeking help
• 15 min · My safety plan (optional)
• 10 min · Close

4. Emotional strength, goals and the way forward 120 min · in person

• 10 min · Check-in
• 25 min · The emotional impact and coping
• 20 min · Strengths and confidence
• 10 min · Break
• 25 min · Pill 6: Set goals for your future
• 20 min · Final questionnaire and feedback
• 10 min · Closing and certificates

• What is said in the group stays in the group.
• Share only what you wish to. You can always pass.
• Listen without judging, and speak from your own experience.
• No advice unless someone asks for it.
• Phones on silent; no photos or recordings of other participants.
• You can take a break or leave the room at any time.
• If you are worried about your safety, tell the facilitator privately.

Each partner holds a focus group with five participants: a balanced mix of adult educators, service providers and women with lived experience. The discussion is semi-structured: participants answer prepared questions and can also share further thoughts and ideas as they arise. A moderator with experience in gender equality, economic violence and social empowerment keeps the discussion respectful and makes sure everyone is involved. Partners share their focus group reports, and the findings feed into the final drafts of the training modules, Training Pills and guidelines. Partners offer personal support so that the women in the group can take part.

A hybrid half-day event (in person and online) for about 30 participants per event, presenting the FIRE results to local stakeholders and communities: adult educators, social workers, service providers, NGOs, education organisations, local authorities and women's associations. Informamentis Europa holds one in Italy and EDUMANSHA one in Portugal, using this methodology from Never Give Up Förderverein. The aim of each event is to show the materials in action, collect feedback, and invite organisations to use the results and join the online support network.

15 min · Arrival, registration (in person and online) and welcome

20 min · Economic abuse: why it matters, and Directive (EU) 2024/1385

20 min · The FIRE project and its results: modules, Training Pills, guidelines, tools and network

30 min · Hands-on demonstration: one Training Pill and one interactive tool, with online participants joining in

20 min · Voices from the pilots: educators share what they learned (and women, if they wish and with consent)

15 min · Break and networking

30 min · Discussion: how can your organisation use FIRE? Small groups in the room and online breakout rooms

10 min · How to join the online support network and access the materials

10 min · Feedback form and closing